Handicapped
by My Lady Vader
Summary: Luke attempts to get used to the loss of an appendage and the addition of a family member. Set immediately before the final scene of ESB.


**Guys, I love Luke Skywalker. He's my ultimate favorite character in all of Star Wars, 'Legends' and Cannon both. And I think it's because I see much of myself in him. And it's not because I think I'm all that, but because he's so relatable to me. And as of late, I've been having a bit of an identity crisis, and so, naturally, I've been spending most of my time thinking about Luke Skywalker instead of myself, or even doing other important things, like write the hundreds of essays due at the end of the months.**

 **Anyway, this started out as something different. I imagine that Luke is plagued by nightmares about Vader and the events on Cloud City, and this was originally supposed to deal with those (because anyone who reads my fics will know I'm ever so fond of writing nightmare scenes), but it became something else, and I quite like it.** **Hopefully you all will too.**

 **Also, I took some liberties with this fic. Nothing too drastic, I think.**

 **MLV**

* * *

It wasn't the tingling feeling at the end of his right arm, one that would have, ordinarily, signaled that his hand had fallen asleep, that had done him in. Nor was it the multiple cuts and bruises that now littered his body, which ached worse than that time when he was ten and had ignored Uncle Owen's warnings about leaning too far out of the speeder. No, what had caused him to unravel was when Leia, who had been through her own torture, look him in the eye and ask, "are you okay?"

Obviously, everyone knew something had happened. One look at him disproved all and any statements made of "I'm okay," or, "really, it's not that bad." He had felt Leia's pain while in hyperspace, and knew that she was hurting just much as he was, and the fact that she was here, asking him how he was…it was simply too much.

He pushed away from her and moved away. "I would be if everyone would stop asking me that." He hadn't met it with so much spite. Leia was hurting too; there was no need for him to be angry with her. He turned and faced her again. "Leia, I'm sorry. I'm just tired. Of everything."

She gave him a small smile and nodded. "I definitely understand where you're coming from."

She hadn't meant it to make him feel guilty, but he did all the same. "Any word on Han?" His subject change wasn't subtle, but it was successful.

Leia winced and shook her head. "We know he's being taken to Tatooine. I've already sent a messenger to Jabba offering to pay for Han's debt."

Luke moved closer to Leia and sat across from her. Instinctively he reached out to touch her, to comfort her, but halfway there remembered his lack of appendage and let his arm drop to his side. Leia had a sad smile on her face.

"Have you been by the medbay?" she asked softly.

And they were back on the subject of him again.

"Yeah. They're working on a synthetic flesh to cover the cybernetics right now, so it's not ready."

"Didn't want a naked hand?" Leia asked, attempting a joke. Luke laughed anyway.

"Nah. Didn't want people to know I was part droid." Images of the last part droid he encountered flashed in his mind and were banished as quickly as they came.

Leia seemed to sense something was up and reached out and gripped Luke's arm, just above the elbow. "Luke, what is it?"

And for a moment, he almost told her. Almost let everything spill out, everything that happened. She knew that Vader had used her and Han and Chewy to trap him and that there must have been some kind of confrontation between Vader and himself.

But just as the words were forming, he remembered what Vader meant to Leia. The man who had needlessly tortured her, who had forced her to watch as her home as destroyed, who had sold the man she loved to a crime lord in front of her. And it wasn't just about what he'd been through anymore.

Force, what would she think if she found out who he was? Who he really was? Would the Alliance throw him out, leave him to fend for himself? Or worse, would the Alliance keep him, and that would eventually lead to their undoing?

He stood up and moved away from Leia, pulled his arm out of her grip. "I have to get out of here," he muttered before he fled the room.

Everywhere he went, rebels asked him how he was, or what went down on Bespin, or worse, they _thanked_ him. Eventually, Luke swiped a cap and shoved it onto his head, pulling it low over his face. It didn't do much to hide his identity, but he felt like he was at least doing something.

Eventually, he found his way to the garage and was standing in front of the Falcon. He didn't want to go in and see her without her sarcastic asshole of a captain, but even that feeling of guilt was better than staying out here. He was surprised to find the loading door open, and hesitantly called out. He didn't get a reply, so he cautiously crept aboard.

The Falcon's emergency lighting was lit, and it cast an eerie glow. He made it to the cabin's lounge and sat down across the from holoboard. He stared at it, thinking deeply and trying to stop thinking that deeply when a muffled growl made him jump in his seat.

"Chewy, you scared me," he said, jumping up and moving over to the Wookiee, who was giving Luke a questioning look. "I called out, but no one answered."

Chewy regarded him a moment before growling another question.

"Hiding?" Luke answered tentatively. There was a moment of tense silence, and then Chewbacca chuckled. Luke's face split into a smile, and he chuckled too.

After the tenseness left the area, Chewy rumbled another question.

Luke frowned. He understood most of what the Wookiee said by the context of the situation, or the few words he'd managed to pick up over the years. Chewy sighed and began to repeat himself, but Luke held up a hand to stop him, once again forgetting there was no hand to hold up. He cleared his throat and said, "wait. Gimme a moment."

Chewy nodded and Luke worked everything out. "Oh! Yeah, I know where Jabba's from. He's got people in all the spaceports, and mostly works out of Mos Espa. But he won't take Han there."

Chewy cocked his head and warbled a question.

"He's a Hutt. He's going to want to gloat. He'll take him to his palace." Chewy stayed silent, indicating Luke to continue. "Uh, it's not too far from where I grew up, actually. It forms a triangle with the farm and Mos Eisley." Luke held up his left hand to from half a triangle, and then wiggled his pointer finger. "It would be there."

Chewy gave Luke his thanks and began to depart, but paused and turned back. He softly growled at Luke.

"You want me to be a part of it?" Luke asked. He indicated to his right arm. "I'm a bit handicapped."

Chewy roared at him and then left the ship. Luke rolled his eyes, muttering to himself. "For the moment, what does that change anything." But he followed the Wookiee out of the ship.


End file.
